Sayonara, Suckers

Okay, so, I get it. I realize that every week I’m all like “It’s a developmental landmark! It’s a big deal!”

But seriously, guys. This time it really is a big deal.

This is diapers. This is diapers-big.

I must begin by telling you that, not to brag (well, totally to brag), but the Baby-Mama and I hadve the carbon footprint of a septaplegic mite. We don’t own a car, we don’t buy stuff, we re-wash our plastic bags, we give money to bears and provide job counseling for homeless trees.

We are, basically, saving the planet.

And thus, as friends of stinky, stinky Nature, we opted for cloth diapers when the choice was before us. And these things were pimpin. Bum Genius makes one helluva poop-catcher people – they’re modular, with shells and inserts and snaps and wicking technology. Seriously, we’ve been using the same 2 dozen or so diapers (with some disposables filling the gaps in rotation) from about 5 months up till now.

Up till now, I say, because they no longer fit him. There are no more snaps to be snaps, no more inserts to be inserted, no way to get snug on a fella.

And so they go.

We still need diapers, but he’s about 3 flushes away from being 100% potty trained, so it’s not worth investing in a whole new set.

Nope. Now we say goodbye to this particular part of our lives. We will be a single-diaper-pail family from this day forward.

Thank you, diapers. Sure, we had our problems, but you delivered the goods. Or, rather, prevented the delivery of the goods. You’ve saved countless pants, socks, carpets, furniture, car seats and dignity. The work was thankless, the hours long, you sacrificed over and over again for the relative cleanliness (definitely relative) of others. You really took one – and two – for the team.

I can’t say I’m sorry to see you go, but I will remain forever thankful.

That’ll do, diapers. That’ll do.

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