Lament for the Nazi Drug Dealers

So what is it with all the pedophile serial killers?

I mean, I’m a child of Television, my young social life consisted of Lettermen’s guests and when the first season of MASH (arguably the best) would cycle back around. But now I have a kid, and all of the sudden, every damn movie, hour-long drama, or mystery novel has some extremely fucked up violence towards children. Was this always there, and my frozen heart is only now beginning to thaw? I just don’t remember MacGuyver ever having to use backyard science to thwart John Wayne Gacy

Now, I lost any claims to delicacy a good half-dozen Helen Keller jokes ago, but this stuff is starting to get to me. I’ve always found Law & Order SVU pretty severe for prime time, but now some of the plot lines have me picking up Xe (formerly Blackwater) brochures.

I mean really, is this all we, as a culture, have left for boogeymen? The world is vast and terrifying, people, we can find all kinds of fantastic bad guys out there if we just look.  Yeah, The Wire went and ruined drug dealers for us, but what about, like, killer bees? Or biker gangs? Communists were always good for a nemesis, what with their sweat and leather coats and women as beautiful as they were deadly.

Or hey, here we go, what about Nazis? Whatever happened to the Nazis? Now there’s Archenemy Incorporated right there. Can’t we have Law & Order: Nazis? Can’t we have over-wrought psychological thrillers with aging A-list actors as retired cops leaving everything behind to catch Nazis in small town Vermont (it may just become personal)?

I feel like I should write my congressman about this.

And you, get off my lawn.

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